Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
