They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
