I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
