is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
