two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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