He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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