you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
