I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
