I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
