We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
