Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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