just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
