sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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