in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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