So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize