he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
