I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
