Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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