At least make sure they are 18
Why
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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