are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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