i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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