I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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