you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
