I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Vodka?
Forever.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
