So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
