Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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