Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
