True but thats because hes a fetus.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
