i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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