I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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