p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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