You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
