Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
