omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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