i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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