the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Alive.
So much puke
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
