Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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