Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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