Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
