i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize