# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
