and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
