I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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