Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
