awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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