When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
