i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just blew my weed a kiss
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
