plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
