omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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