): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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