I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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