Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
