my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Terrible idea I love it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
