I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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