He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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