Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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